Thirteen Comebacks to Sleazy Pick-up Lines

by Aleka Allen
Thirteen Comebacks to Sleazy Pick-up Lines - Fresh Print Magazine

Rejection is the rightfully deserved response to pick-up lines. Image:

Sometimes I can’t believe the pick-up lines that are out there in the world. Conversation starters such as Your feet must be tired ‘cause you’ve been running through my mind and Nice pants! They’d look great on my bedroom floor aren’t flattering to the opposite sex. When politeness fails to ward off a person’s unwanted advances, do we throw your drink in their faces? Call for security? Would you tell them that their mothers’ souls died when they gave birth to these shameful people? That all might be a little harsh, here are a few comebacks to those annoying pick-up lines that still deliver the shutdown yet allows you to walk away with style and grace.

1)      Line: Are those space pants ‘cause your butt is out of this world!

    Comeback: Do you know of any other pick-up lines that weren’t created by a twelve year old boy?

2)      Line: Your lips must be a magnet because my lips are attracted to it!

     Comeback: That’s funny because my fist was feeling the same attraction to your lips!

3)      Line: I know how to please a woman/man.

     Comeback: Then please leave me alone.

4)      Line: Hey baby, what’s your sign?

     Comeback: There are three answers to this question. A) Danger Ahead! B) Do Not Enter. C) Stop.

5)      Line: Haven’t I seen your face somewhere before? Oh that’s right! It was in my dreams.

     Comeback: I recognize your face too. Then again, I was visiting the zoo earlier today.

6)      Line: Where have you been all of my life?

     Comeback: Avoiding people like you!

7)      Line: If I saw your naked body, I’d die happy.

      Comeback: If I saw your naked body, I’d probably die laughing.

8)      Line: Could I have the directions to your heart?

      Comeback: Take a left on Not Interested, a right on You’re Not My Type, and then go straight back to your rock!

9)      Line: I can tell how much you want me.

      Comeback: Yes, I do want you—to leave me alone!

10)   Line: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

      Comeback: It’s so nice to meet someone over the age of five who still watches Sesame Street!

11)   Line: Your body turned my head.

     Comeback: Well your body turned my stomach.

12)   Line: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past you again?

     Comeback: How’s about you walk past me and go straight to the exit!

13)   Line: Do yourself a favour and stop talking so I can kiss you.

     Comeback: Could you stop talking so I can pinpoint the exact location of the world’s air pollution? *glance around the room and look back at the person* Oh, it looks like I’ve found the source!

We here at Fresh Print think the best pick-up line is hello! What do you think, do humorous pick-up lines actually work?

Do you have any favourite comebacks to pick-up lines? Share them with us in the comments section below or @FreshPrintMag!

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