Although there are many songs that have been written about the heartache that comes from ending a romantic relationship, there are not many songs you can listen to when you’ve just broken up with a friend.
Maybe it’s because we’ve been taught to believe that friendships, unlike romantic relationships, are meant to last forever.
While some friends are worth fighting for, there are some you must just let go. But how do you know if it’s okay to call it quits with a friend? If you happen to have friends who fit the descriptions below, then maybe it’s time to make some new ones.
The Houdini: Friendship involves more than one person and it makes no sense if you find yourself doing all the work to keep the precious bond alive. Friends who always disappear after you’ve made plans to hang out are not exactly people you should keep in touch with. If you matter to them, they will call, try to meet up or text to see how you’re doing. Don’t hesitate to ignore the friends who remember you only when they need money or use you as back up when their other friends are busy.
The Victim: These friends always need some comforting and love it when you boost their ego by saying how wonderful they are. They almost always wallow in self-pity and the small problems in their life are blown out of proportion. You are expected to listen to every boring detail and if you don’t offer suitable advice, then they whine about that too. It’s no surprise that such friends are unavailable to lend a sympathetic ear when you need some venting or are having a rough day.
The Clinger: Strong hints do not work for the clingy friend. Such friends follow you around like a lost puppy and panic when you’ve been apart for five minutes. Boundaries are often crossed and there’s no ‘I’ because it’s always ‘We’. If you’ve tried everything you can to make this friend understand that you value your space and he/she still doesn’t get it, then you have no option left but to say adios!
The Phony: A person who pretends to be your friend can only go so far. Such friends are insecure and are constantly trying to find faults with you and will not miss an opportunity to put you down in front of others. Being with a phony friend makes you phony as well because you can never be yourself with that person. They make jokes about your achievements because they want to be better than you. When they smile and congratulate you on your new job, you know they don’t mean it.
The Abuser: Abuse of any kind should not be tolerated. If you have friends who are extremely aggressive and say nasty things to your face, you’re a victim of verbal abuse. Friends who care will never do such a thing. Then there’s that friend who constantly makes lewd comments and sexual jokes to try and get a reaction from you. If such behavior makes you uncomfortable, tell them so and stay away.
Like someone once said, friends are the family you choose. Life is complicated enough and we don’t need unhealthy friendships to add to the drama.
That’s something to think about!