The movie, Mean Girls, demonstrates the vicious impact of verbal abuse among females (Image: www.cinemablend.com)
Have you ever noticed that when the issue of bullying is discussed in the media or online, the discussion is centered on boys who have been physically abused? Where do girls fit into this discussion? Why is it that we are talking about the issue but not raising awareness of the female victims? As I have progressed through high school, I have seen and heard some very unsettling insults, not only shaming a girl into feeling inadequate about her appearance, but to humiliate her entire existence. As someone who has been on the receiving end of this type of bullying, I firmly believe that the females of my generation have had enough and demand to be acknowledged in the discussion. Girls are victims of bullying too!
Based on recent statistics, verbal abuse is more often reported than physical abuse. However, it seems as though not much progress has been made in dealing with the problem, considering the increase in reports of verbal abuse year after year. I’m not saying that teachers or parents don’t make an effort to stop verbal bullying. Most parents and teachers don’t realize that a lot of girls have a fear of being further victimized for telling a parent or teacher about the harassment from their peers. Being the parent of a bullying victim is a hard situation to handle, regardless of the child’s gender. What can a parent or teacher really do about this abuse? Nothing. From personal experience, telling a bully to not pick on a certain person leads to more frustration and hostility towards their victim/s. In most cases, the bully becomes more violent when adults are involved, resulting in a more volatile environment, even after the adults feel that the problem has been solved.
This type of bullying results in more suicides and mental illness afflictions and is also the third leading cause of death among adolescents and young adults in Canada. This is a shocking statistic but the real shock is that 160,000 kids skip school to avoid the physical and/or verbal abuse from their peers. When youth have been surrounded by abuse, it deeply affects their mental and psychological states in a variety of ways. Drug abuse, anxiety, and hostility are just some of the behavioural effects caused by a lifetime’s worth of verbal bullying. It also affects their ability to handle difficult situations and how well they are able to function with others. For young female victims of verbal bullying, the low self-esteem and non-existent self-worth will affect the way that they view themselves. As they get older, their negative self-image will be reflected in the treatment that they receive from others, simply because they weren’t taught any better. Imagine that you, your friend, niece, or sister has been called a slut throughout their entire life from their family and classmates. Chances are high that they will act in a way that is seen as sexually defiant, such as working in the sex trade or strip clubs. Nobody wants to see their female loved one/s go down that path. Unfortunately, that is the cruel and ruthless reality that has been created for our future daughters.
Now that you know the ways in which verbal abuse can affect young females, here are some suggestions that can prevent and even stop verbal bullying before it happens:
- Be confident: When you see someone walking down the street with their head held high and focused on what’s in front of them, you don’t expect that person to stoop to a bully’s level. A positive attitude, proper body language, and the right choice of words will make the difference.
This could be your future daughter’s life as a teenager (Image:www.stopchildbullying.com)
- Walk away: This step is difficult but the pay-off is worth it. Keeping your emotions under control in a confrontation will make you look and feel like the bigger person. Practice responses such as, See you later! or Have a good day!
- Don’t be silent: When you are being verbally bullied, it’s similar to a kick or a punch so defend yourself! Raise your voice and tell them that you don’t like what they are doing and that they need to stop. Tell your sister or brother if you feel more comfortable but share this problem with an adult you trust since they can be very helpful in stopping a bully.
