One of the sources of Tina Fey’s inspiration and light of her life is her eldest daughter 8 year old Alice Zenobia Richmond who has a large and loyal following, the most notable being the followers of fyeahalicefey.tumblr.com, that hang onto every word coming from her candy coated lips. Mama Fey’s comedienne genetics were obviously not lost on Alice who has proven time and time again through Tina’s talk show circuits, her innate comedic prowess. Many of Tina’s anecdotes rely on the zingers provided by both Alice and her younger sister Penelope, who appear to be wiser beyond their years with their profound quotes that only a child is capable of nonchalantly dispensing. During one interview, Tina suggested that one of her daughter’s witticisms might be mistaken as a chat up line from “an Eastern European guy at a club,” which has led me to ponder on what other one liners could also be executed in the name of romance.
(image provided by swishtastic.tumblr.com)
1. The Direct Approach: Hello beautiful eyes, mind if I party with you?
This method is flattering and to the point. When you’re trying to attract the attention of a suitor, being direct is the best technique. Stating your intentions while throwing in a compliment is sure to gain you at least a cheeky smile from your intended beau.
Actual Scenario: Alice wanted to hold her baby sister Penelope, but mama Fey cautioned on extra gentleness – Alice chose to use extra gentle language.
(image provided by fyeahalicefey.tumblr.com)
2. Sweet & Factual: You know, the most romantic part of the human body is the butt
Dropping some knowledge on the object of your affection lets them know how intelligent you are, especially if you can back up your statement with some (real or fake) statistics. In this situation stating an opinion like a fact, is what your aim is – if you’re not crazy about butts try a different body part – but it is advisable to keep your selection PG rated.
Actual Scenario: Alice acting out a scene between her dolls
3. Play on Sympathy: This is a picture of my mother, it’s the last picture I have of her before she died
Okay, so maybe don’t go as dark as Alice – but if you’re willing and desperate enough to try to cash in on sympathy points, be slightly less morbid and tread on a smaller scale. Secondly, unlike Alice, you’re going to want to be at least somewhat truthful with this one liner – try recalling on a childhood memory of a deceased pet.
Actual Scenario: Alice was pretending to be grown up while looking through Tina’s head shots
(image provided by fyeahalicefey.tumblr.com)
4. Flatter Yourself: I look like Barack Obama
If you’re lacking confidence, fake it until you make it – admire your own beauty and exaggerate your distinction. Next to John F. Kennedy, and a young Ronald Reagan, President Obama is one of the most resplendent looking heads of State. Even if you don’t look like Barack, try this line out, but if you feel like you’re overreaching, at least stay on the same page by referencing another political figure.
Actual Scenario: Alice pretending to apply makeup
5. Take Initiative: I want to go to there
This is one of the most repeated, and memorable lines from the syndicated hit television show 30 Rock. This technique relies on being bold and suggesting a rendezvous – if you want to date someone, you don’t have to wait around until you get asked out, instead try taking the initiative. When following through with this method always be specific with a time and place – this way there is no confusion and you know exactly where you stand with your heartthrob.
Actual Scenario: Alice just being adorable.
